A recent article published in Vogue seems had the Wedding fraternity up in arms, especially photographers! I thought I’d take a look at the article and illustrate it where I could. What do you think. Is it time to throw out the old and forget tradition altogether or is a Wedding a beautiful timeless occasion that we should still enjoy? I know which camp I’m in.
Here’s what the article had to say: [my comments in blue]
It’s 2016 and your mama’s wedding is officially a thing of the past. …………………
Be the bride who says, “I did it my way.” Here, 10 tips for breaking the mold.
Say “I don’t” to:
Historically, they were there to let the world know you were the property of your big strong husband, who was out in the scary mean world skinning bears and slaving away at his important job, while you stayed home, scrubbing the woolen underwear of your six children in the washbasin. Why not get matching tattoos instead? Actually, why get matching anything? Not to get too Stevie Nicks here, but the psychic bond you share is what’s important—not the jewelry.
Of Course It Is!
Girls, Girls, Girls
After the proposal, sit your bitches down and be all: “Listen, I’m not going to torture you with the popularity contest of a bridal party and the engagement party and the shower and having to pedestal-ize me for the next year in your crappy $400 crinoline monstrosity. Just pick some gorge dress and strut down the aisle at my wedding.” And did someone say “maid of honor”? Let’s not even go there.
Yeah the Dress, why bother with that
And Maid of Honour…… who needs them! Or the Bridesmaids or the Flower girls and Pageboys.
The Registry [I’m not even sure what this is, maybe it’s an American thang, or maybe I’m just not hip enough]
When’s the last time you cooked a casserole or pressed a panino at home? If you’re a domestic goddess, the registry idea is sweet and all, but why not just go old-school and request cash post-ceremony? Send one of the flower girls around, holding a big basket with an adorbs sign around her neck that says “Accepting contributions.” Now you can do with it what you want: kitchen items, paying off student loans, a charity of your choice.
The Big Reveal
I totally get the appeal of the big rom-com moment when the groom sees the bride in her dress for the first time, but honestly, you have been spending every single day together since you first met at Lit Lounge in 2001 . . . is this really necessary? I’m all for a five-minute powwow before walking down the aisle so you can press your heart to his and remember why you’re there in the first place.
[I love this moment. The Groom, so cool just hours ago, now dry mouthed and looking nervously over his shoulder for that first glimpse of his bride. Doesn’t change even if you have been together for years]
Something Old, Something New
Ew. Doesn’t that stress you out? What’s the point? Why add another thing to your checklist? Let it go and move on. And while we’re at it, can we talk about the garter? A slutty, elasticized strip of fake lace cutting off circulation to your upper thigh? All so that the man of the hour can drunkenly remove it, then pass it on to Great-Uncle Ted in the hopes he gets laid? Let’s opt out of this one.
[There’s nothing slutty or cheap about the garters I’ve seen and there’s never been any sign of uncle Ted! Some brides have shown a sexy glimpse of garter and sometimes had it removed by their groom. It’s a very old tradition but I must admit a lot of brides don’t even bother with this nowadays. Or do they! Perhaps they just keep it to themselves and skip the garter removal tradition. As for something old, something new. I think it’s lovely when brides incorporate their Nan’s locket or a piece of jewelry from a loved one into their outfit. Molly Guy the author of the article must have a heart of stone!]
Walking Down the Aisle With Daddy
Safely ensconced in the nook of his arm, like a wee lamb? Is that really necessary? Why not walk down the aisle by yourself or with your about-to-be partner—or better yet, don’t even walk down the aisle at all. When your guests file in, be there to greet them, then, as they take their seats, proceed to the altar hand in hand with your betrothed, ready to get the show on the road.
Am I the only person who finds this really bizarre? Twirling around to a waltz as if you’re in a Viennese ballroom circa 1932? Not to mention, dance lessons are both costly and time-consuming. And then to have a million pairs of eyes on you? No thanks.
[Some couples work practice a routine for this. Most don’t but again it’s an old tradition and it is the first time you get to hold each other and be alone in a passionate embrace since you got married what seems like hours ago and also only minutes ago! Your friends will join you on the dance floor before too long so you won’t be stranded out there.]
Feeding Each Other Cake
That awkward rigmarole where the two of you hobble up to the dessert bar and playfully feed each other a slice amid a barrage of blinking flashbulbs? Why? Being hand-fed cake in front of an audience is disgusting. ’Nuff said.
[It’s fun, it’s a Wedding. Not all couples go for the cake feeding routine. It’s entirely up to you but it is traditional to have a Wedding Cake………. Not always made of cake.]
The Elaborate Honeymoon
Try out the staycation alternative instead. Book a suite at a nearby hotel and hole up for a couple days with some board games and champagne, and call it a long weekend. And while you’re there, ask the hotel manager if the pool could stay open late for a private swim.
[Well this is the closest she got to being right. The pool staying open for a private swim is a figment of an overactive imagination but you certainly don’t need an expensive honeymoon abroad. There is nothing wrong with staying at home, be it in a hotel, your own home or perhaps somewhere completely different]…………………….
What do you think? Are weddings here to stay or are they officially a thing of the past? Let us know your thoughts in the comments below. It’s certainly an interesting topic. I think I know where I stand.